


Growing Old is a Bitch

by thegrendel



Category: Original Work
Genre: Age Difference, Age Regression/De-Aging, F/M, Fountain of Youth, Older Woman/Younger Man, Regret, Rejuvenation, chat room
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-06-25 15:38:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15643779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegrendel/pseuds/thegrendel
Summary: Sure, older women make better lovers, but at what price?





	Growing Old is a Bitch


        JadeMistress:  And you say you've never been kissed?
    
        g33kboy:       Nope.
    
        JadeMistress:  Ever had a girlfriend?
    
        g33kboy:       I suppose u could call her that. But we never actually
                       DID anything.
    
        JadeMistress:  And what exactly is it you expect of me?
    
        g33kboy:       Teach me! Show me! Show me what 10ve's all about. How 2
                       10ve and make 10ve. How 2 make 10ve to a real 1ive
                       wom@n. How 2 . . . well, what I rea11y mean is . . .
    
        JadeMistress:  The Birds and the Bees is what I think you're getting
                       at. What you want is a course in Fucking 101. Sorry,
                       kid, didn't mean to hurt your feelings. You're not
                       the first shy guy in that situation, and my heart goes
                       out to you.
    
        g33kboy:       So, willya? Huh? Willya?
    
        JadeMistress:  Oh, grow up!
    
        g33kboy:       But willya?
    
        JadeMistress:  Will I what?
    
        g33kboy:       Teach me? Teach me?
    
        JadeMistress:  No promises, but . . .
    

He had met her in the chat room.
    
    
        g33kboy:       Help! Just turned 18 & still v1rg1n. Need 0lder
                       wom@n 2 break me in & teach me. Teach me.
    
        ziphed:        L33tle b0y, r u 10nes0me 2nite?
    
        s1kk0:         A lapd0g who n33dz 2 be housebroken.
    
        b1akjak:       The sandb0x is thataway, tchump.
    
        rumdum79:      Run along, it's way past ur b3dtime.
    
        pr3dat0r:      Bug 0ff, a55h01e. (We don't do charity cases here.)
    
        ch1pd1p:       Whatta luser.
    
        . . .
    
        JadeMistress:  Your innocence is touching. Perhaps I can help . . .
    

Instant messaging was all right, but voice chat was a hell of an  
improvement. She had a low-pitched, bedroom voice. Finally, he got  
to speak to her on the phone. It was more intimate. She was warm and  
sympathetic, and could listen to him for hours . . . which was fortunate  
because he could run on and on about himself for hours. For some reason,  
though, she wouldn't send a photo.

"Listen up, g33kboy. In the relative scheme of things, looks are  
unimportant. Sure, you see lots of all-American beauties with pretty  
faces and big boobs out there, but if they kick you in the teeth, what  
does it matter in the end?"

They agreed to meet in person. In the flesh. But there seemed to be a  
slight problem with logistics. It happened that g33kboy was still living  
at home with his parents, so a rendezvous at his place was a bit, well,  
dicy. And as for JadeMistress, sure she owned her own home, but she  
lived halfway across the country. Worse yet, g33kboy hadn't managed  
to save enough from his job as assistant burger-flipper to be able to  
afford airfare. So, the round-trip airline ticket that JM sent was a  
very welcome surprise indeed.

 

Coming in for a landing at the airport. All through the flight g33kboy  
had been sweating bullets. Sweating howitzer shells, actually. He had  
blown his cookies into the oh-so-thoughtfully provided barfbag. Here he  
was coming to meet the woman who would open up to him the gates of sex  
and love, _her own_ gate, in fact . . . and he didn't know if  
he could pull it off. What if he blew it? What if she didn't care for  
his looks? What if he had bad breath? What if he suddenly broke out in  
zits? What if he couldn't get it up? What if . . . ?

The plane slowly taxied up to the gate. It was taking forever. He clutched  
the pitiful little bouquet of wildflowers in his hand. They were starting  
to look as wilted as he felt.

He glanced around the arrival lounge. There must be thousands of people  
here waiting for friends and relatives and loved ones. Half the friggin  
city must be here. Where the bloody hell _was_ she?

Over there! Someone was was holding up a hand-lettered sign with "g33kboy"  
on it. He pushed through the crowd and waved. _No!_ It couldn't be!  
There had to be some mistake.

It was an _old lady_ holding the sign. Of course! It was her  
mother or auntie. For whatever reason, JadeMistress had sent someone  
else to meet him.

"Scuse me, ma'am. I'm here for JadeMistress. I'm g33kboy."

The woman gave him an odd smile. She had gold front teeth. "Pleased to  
meet you. I'm JadeMistress. Welcome." She held open her arms as if to  
embrace him.

He recoiled. "Wait just a minute, lady. This here ain't quite what I  
was led to believe. You're old enough to be my . . . "

"Old enough to teach you a thing or two, young fellow. I'm a  
sixty-seven-year-old grannie, all right. But maybe that's not quite  
what you bargained for." She chuckled, then lowered her voice to a  
conspiratorial whisper. "But I've got what you need . . . the sacred  
gate between my legs. Still quite functional, too. And I can initiate  
you into the Mysteries. That's what you're after, right?"

He shrugged and hesitantly put his arms around her.

 

Later that evening g33kboy was beginning to accept the situation. He felt  
quite comfortable in Jade's presence. She had treated him to an expensive  
restaurant meal, then taken him home. He felt totally "at home" in her  
home.

They sat facing each other across an elegant glass-topped table.  
Mahogany with ivory intaglios, she had said. Sure beat the hell out of  
his parents' formica dining set. Expensive. This dame reeked of money.

They sat and talked. Face to face it was somehow easier to talk about  
life and hopes and dreams than electronically. It was harder to lie,  
or even hold back truth. It gradually dawned on g33kboy that he could  
really get to _like_ this woman.

The bed in guest bedroom was both comfortable and comforting. He sank  
deeply into its plushness and it immersed him in a blanket of sleep.

He awoke to a soft knock on the door. It was dark. Still night.

"Jade? Izzat you?"

"May I come in?"

"Yeah, I guess."

She walked in and sat at the foot of the bed. He snapped on the headboard  
lamp.

She was wearing a light robe that didn't conceal much. For an old bag,  
she certainly was well-preserved. In fact, she had a pretty decent bod.  
This might yet work out. Between his legs, something was stirring.

"Forgive me for disturbing your sleep. I apologize for intruding on your  
privacy, g33kboy. We've managed to build a bond of friendship and trust  
between us, and here I am imposing upon that. But I just had to -- had to  
be with you. Could you . . . would you put up with me for a little while?"

"I'm glad you're here, Jade. Move on over. Set your sweet patoot down  
beside me. Lemme . . . uh, let me find comfort in your gentle arms. Wilt  
thou grant me the favor of thy sweet lips?"

(Later on, g33kboy wondered where all _that_ stuff had come  
from. Maybe from his eleventh grade English Lit class, or, more likely,  
from sneaking looks at his sister's bodice rippers.)

They embraced. Her body was warm and soft, and didn't feel the least bit  
withered or dried out. She kissed him, and that was the last thing he  
remembered.

 

The morning light slanting through the mini-blinds woke him. He was  
alone in the bed and still in his underwear. So, nothing had happened  
last night. Nothing much, except falling asleep in the arms of a woman.  
A woman he was starting to get some weird feelings for.

There were kitchen sounds on the other side of the wall. He smelled all  
the usual breakfast smells and heard the faint crackling of something or  
other frying. His stomach had begun rumbling. Time to get his sorry butt  
out of bed.

Big-ass Belgian waffles with real maple syrup, and, of course, crispy  
bacon. Jade was a damn fine cook. And she made a damn attractive  
waitress, too. She was wearing a tight jumpsuit that showed off her  
curves nicely. She had some kind of nice ass for an old lady. And she  
was shaking that ass as she served him.

"Thank you for the tasty grub, Jade."

"You are most welcome, g33kboy. Anything else I can get you?"

"Your delicious self. Pull up a chair. I enjoy warming myself in your  
body heat. I -- " He fell silent.

"Finish that thought, dear g33kboy. I'm not going to bite you. Or would  
you maybe prefer that I did?"

"I wanna . . . would Milady grant this humble knave the favor of a kiss?

She walked over, grasped him by the shoulders, looked him in the eye,  
and kissed him. Passionately. Then she sat down. In his lap.

A short while later she stood, then reached down and unzipped his fly.  
Her hand dextrously freed his penis from its confinement, whereupon it  
sprang straight up and pointed heavenward. She looked upon it and smiled.

Slowly she lowered herself. On him. There was a zippered slit in the  
bottom of her jumpsuit and she was naked underneath. Wriggling her hips,  
she sank down on his lap and took him into herself. Her arms were tight  
around him and her lips sealed to his. She was burning hot and wet inside  
and she pumped him. She pumped him dry. He groaned as he gave up his  
essence. She hummed an unfamiliar tune and licked his face like a cat.

"So, g33kboy, do you feel any different now?"

"Yes. Flying high and thrumming with power. Razzle-dazzled and frazzled.  
Finally a full-fledged lewd dude. Older and wiser. Tarred and feathered.  
And . . . overflowing with gratefulness. Not to mention gratitude. Heaps  
of thanks upon you for making a man of me, Lady Jade."

"My pleasure."

He stood up. "Wow! That hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm feeling a little  
. . . worn out, I guess."

"Oh, my dear boy! Come here and give me one more kiss. Then I'll pack you  
off to bed once more to rest and recharge. Perhaps later, if you're  
feeling _up_ to it . . . " She chuckled. " . . . perhaps we could  
repeat the performance. I needed that. Why, I feel like a young girl  
again. Whee!"

Drifting off to sleep, looking up through half-shut eyelids at Jade  
sitting on the far edge of the bed knitting and humming softly to herself,  
it struck him that she _did_ look younger. Quite a bit younger.

 

He awoke to find a hand on him. Between his legs. Stroking his erection.  
She was lying stretched out behind him and she was _groping_ him.  
She smiled, kissed him softly on the forehead, and slowly got onto her  
hands and knees. His eyes locked on her bare buttocks. All his! His for  
the taking!

He took her. Once, doggy style, plunging deeply into her pussy, his  
thighs rebounding off her ass cheeks. A bit later, at her urging, he  
looked for a tube of "XE-41 Industrial Strength Recreational Lubricant"  
in the back of the bathroom medicine cabinet. She told him what to do  
next, and he hesitantly inserted himself into her back passage. She was  
tighter there. It was hotter inside there, too. (The though popped into  
his head that he was using his cock as a rectal thermometer, and he had  
to choke back spasms of laughter.)

Damn, he was tired. He staggered into the bathroom to take a leak and  
splash some water on his face. Was that him in the mirror? Hoo, boy,  
he didn't look so hot. Bags under the eyes. Quite a bit the worse  
for wear. Were those a couple of gray hairs? At eighteen fuckin years  
old? Couldn't be. Must be hallucinating, or maybe it was the dim light.  
He dragged ass back to bed.

She wanted to do it again! He was worn out. Tired! Couldn't she fuckin  
understand that? But she kept right on smoochin on him. Running her  
hands over his bod. Over his ass. That felt good. Damn good! And when she  
rubbed his asshole, then slipped a finger inside . . . wowie, zowie! He  
was starting to get hard again. Rock hard. Ready to rock and roll. He  
wanted to stick it into her. Either hole. Both holes. But, damn it,  
it was taking something out of him. Draining him. Sucking the life out  
of him. He was starting to feel used up. Like he was years older.

Three days later g33kboy was a wreck. He could barely get out of bed  
and drag himself into the bathroom. Jade served him meals in bed. And  
she . . . she made love to him. Five, sometimes six times a day. She  
insisted. _Insisted._ And if he couldn't get it up, she used  
what she called "extraordinary measures." She'd strap on a dildo and  
fuck him in the ass. That had never failed to get him hard. So far.

Yesterday he had gotten a glimpse of himself in the bathroom mirror. He  
looked like an old man. Some of his hair had fallen out, and what was  
left was mostly gray. His face was wrinkled. But Jade! She had somehow  
managed to roll back her age. She didn't look a day over thirty. Her body  
had changed, too. Her breasts no longer drooped and her ass was higher  
and tighter. Damn! _She was sucking the youth right out of him._  
He had to get out of this friggin place. _Escape!_ But how? His body  
wouldn't work right any more.

He had lost track of time. His mind was going. All he knew was that  
this lady, whatever the heck her name was, stuffed food in his mouth  
with a spoon, and sometimes did funny things to him. She took his . . .  
his peepee . . . and put it in the hole between her legs. He used to know  
all about that stuff, but now . . . he couldn't remember. Something was  
wrong. He was so tired. He just wanted to go home. Home to mommy.

 

She wheeled the frail old man into the lobby of the Golden Sunset Nursing  
Home. He was babbling to himself and drool was running down his chin.

"Granduncle on my mother's side," she told the nurse behind the reception  
desk. "Now that he's lost his memory and most of his motor functions, I  
can no longer provide adequate care for him. Here's the paperwork. Yes,  
I've already made the necessary arrangements. And by the way, on the  
infrequent occasions that he's coherent, he answers to _Geekboy_."

"You seem to have quite a number of elderly relations, Miss Jade. This  
is the third one we've taken in so far this year."

They were asking too many awkward questions here, and anyhow the cops  
were starting to sniff around. She'd have to find a different place to  
park her next few lovers.

Jade walked back out to her car. She drew admiring stares from a group of  
teenage boys. "Man, what a hottie! Lookit them boobs! And that ass! Hey,  
sweet cheeks, I got just what you need!"

Just you wait, sonnyboy, she muttered under her breath. Wait until you're  
a couple of years older. Your turn will come.


End file.
